Overreacted?

To my limits i've tried...if failure is meant to be..then let it be.......
one thing about me is that when under a lot of pressure... i usually would not be able to control my stress and my anger...
it can sometimes hurt the feeling of those ppl that i care...stressful emotional and mentally.....(alter ego: so u think only u can be stressed, only you have the biggest problem on earth, is not like u'r saving the world..nen you are not heroes...even heroes face certain failure)
listening to my alter ego.. i do perfectly understand that comparing my level of stress can be very minimal or none at all to certain individual..but when if u put up my problem on only 1 individual.. i just cannot handle it.....it is really sad of me to admit it..but this is just me..and lame excuse..
current i'm being stress with
my supplier...for he cannot deliver the things he is supposed to.
my customer is chassing me for this, and i dun like to be pictured as if i had not dun enaf...
i mean, i can undertsand her pressure too..but situations is all beyond my control.
too many internal policy and procedures to bring the things in..
but if i can, ..i would..swear to God ...i want to able to honour my words....
I raise up my voice to my client, which i know i 'm not supposed to...i regret for what i did..
with so many mix up emotion I kinda of burst out to her...for not wanting to accept any excuses.....
say who customer is always rite? well is only applicable to me when i am the customer.....
to my mum i let go my dissapointment, in subtle way i put the blame on her as well..
though i knew she did her best..even spoke to my client explaining how things is...glad she able to calm her down.
things turn out ok..that's wat i can say..its not gud..but it's ok..
work pressure : dun even feel wanna discuss it here........
test pressure : i'm supposed to attend for another option of my career life, a test will be conducted to verify whether i'm the person they are looking for...in few days time i got to study a few financial concept, which i've never pay any attention before..plus i've left my test addicted attitude/ freaking scared when it comes to test or exams long back in my dorm campus.......how am i supposed to find it back.......e'time i look at those material..dun feel like reading at all.........what is wrong with me?? loosing my mind to stupidity and idleness.
I need a space.....space from e'thing and e'one........space and space and space.......fuh i need to seek HIS guidance on this..........

I Finally Found Someone

All of a sudden, this song kinda of hit me back..
Always with the same person : )

I finally found someone, who knocks me off my feet I finally found the one, who makes me feel complete We started over coffee, we started out as friends It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin This time it's different It's all because of you It's better than it's ever been Cause we can talk it through My favorite line was "Can I call you sometime?" It's all you had to say to take my breath away This is it, oh I finally found someone Someone to share my life I finally found the one To be with every night Cause whatever I do It's just got to be you My life has just begun I finally found someone (ooh, someone) I finally found someone (ooh) Did I keep you waiting I apologize I would wait forever just to know you were mine And I love your hair I love what you wear You're exceptional I can't wait for the rest of my life This is it, oh Cause whatever I do It's just got to be you My life has just begun I finally found someone


Bryan Adams & Barbra Streisand

Suka Duka Lara

"i've been talking to myself..
i've been thinking a lot lately ...wat am i doing here..
i dun like a'more my presence and existence here..
it tires me..it worries me..it slowly is killing my joy..
i just dun want to be here a'more..
take me away from here...please........"

After a few unpleasant moments in life..
God shower upon me some happy moment yesterday and today..
though i was not really well but he blessed me with the best midday sleep ever that i've not been able to do for quite sometimes...
it was my mum bday, we went to Roadhouse Grill..chill out..a lot of laughters we shared and took a few pictures too...
i really do love my mum and dad..tears is rite now flowing from my cheeks..for i'm afraid to lose them as part of my life...
and for that..i promise to make them happy for as long as i could.....
apart from that, my 2 little cutie ( hamster name Gisselle and Sabel ), we took them about 4 months and yesteday she made me proud with 6 little minnie them..so sweet...makes me once again daydreaming that i too shall have a twins someday.. : )
well this morning..when i reach office..my superior told me that "he" the big boss appreciate my being in this department..well it makes me proud and managed to draw a smile on my dull round face..it like being lifted up once again after so long being trapped in a deep dirty hole.........i managed to take a deep breath huh..
above all, my sweet hubby is always there for me..
at wateva situations i'm facing...from the bad news to the greatest news he's always there...
i remember when we went to that place last month..when that nice guy told us the unpleasant news..i cried and he hold my hands all the way home..
neva ever did he pressure me or ask me a'thing..not until i'm ready to talk about it...
last 2 days somebody hurt my feeling and saying things that too me is such a shallow mind set / ceteknya pemikiran kamu...though i know its a donkey language but it still hurt my feeling..coz, too me...that donkey should neva question me or pass such remarks to me...
again my sweet hubby was there to protect me with his shinning armour : )
our love will always remain as it is for the past ...almost 10 years ...and with time and age...our love will grow even deeper.....ermm suamiku yg manis..saya sayang kamu...
as for now..i will continue to pray and hope e'thing will go just as we planned..........
plus...tak sabar nak pindah rumah baru : ))

4 th Jan - A Year Older A Year Wiser

Untuk semua yg dilalui semalam, kalau dpt disimpulkan dengan satu perkataan..i think i will choose Blessed...
yesterday at exactly 5.58 pm i reach my 27 years of life..at this age...and at this date..i paused and reminisce back of what have i achievd so far and of coz yet to achieved..not all i dream for realised but mostly all important thing that a woman wants is here with me..married life..career...social life..e'thing is in the rite track.
Alhamdullilah..this year i have him around to celebrate, not to mention my loving family, my mama n papa dr last week lagi dah belikan colourful bracelet , pagi 2 lagi my aunty and cousin dah excited menyanyi birthday song for me through phone and reminding me to pick up the gift they bought for me, the nite before my sis keep calling me to say that she already bought a birthday gift for me...touching jugak sbb kitaorg baru je baik dr satu kejadian salah faham.. erhggg..partly my mistakes too..hehe..yeah truly I'm blessed with great family
my colleague @ office...they bought this chessy creamy Chocolaty cakes from Secret Recipe for me...thank you for remembering - i'm blessed with good frens...whom I know i can depends to at any situations ...you guys and gals are like brother and sister dah..
other frens yg keep calling and smsing plus YMing..well although we are separated by distances..i appreciate their thought..ermm feel blessed again...

My sweet husband took half day off to prepare a surprise for me....
well he was neva earlier than me to reach home during weekday.
yesterday...the cards , the flowers , the cakes and even the ballons almost make me cry..how truly he care for me...whenever i look at him..i'm just so full of love and care to shower upon him...he sang in a very sweet melody the birthday song..then we dine at fancy restaurant ( candle lite tau ) so romantic...thank u dear for constanly reminding me that you will love me and shower me with kindness forever..those moments and word we share will always be part of me......Insya-allah

A frens of mine touch my heart by saying that i'm always his icon of strong faith to God...it makes me think again..cukup ke amal ibadat yg telah dilakukan..umur semakin meningkat..sepatutnya amalan pun makin bertambah..i shud be close to God than ever..after all the kesenangan yg diberikan nya..i shud be thankful to HIM. Mungkin jugak kawan ku yg meyapa ku semalam seperti menyampaikan amanat Tuhan pada hamba nya yg terkadang 2 lalai...


yg pasti, semalam cukup indah dan bermakna...
dan yg cukup pasti, aku menginginkan keidahan semalam akan berterusan selagi hayatku ada...
dan yg plg lagi pasti, untuk semua terus berjalan dlm alam yg indah...I have to play a vital role......

p/s : Not e'day we think deeply about ourself...tentang diri kita..tentang hubungannya dengan pencipta, dgn insan lain dan dgn alam..
perhaps..we can take our birthday to start on in...at least once a year : )

Dangai Panas

Dia jalan, mata melilau kiri dan kanan bahu jalan,
Panas, jln sempit, ramainya orang
Tapi terus jalan, mana boleh mengalah di awal pertempuran..
Kiri kanan tetap penuh juadah, macam-macam warna, bau dan rupa
Tapi terus jalan, hati tertumpu hanya pada satu...
Dangai Panas...

"Yang, tu ha", "dangai tu ha!!"
"Bee nak? Ok kita beli yer..."
"Bang kasi seringgit." "Siap Dik"
"Beli ye".."Iye saya jual"
"Dangai bertukar tangan...".

"Bee nak beli apa-apa lagi??"
"Hmmm ikutlah, macam nak beli udang ngan sotong."
kaki berjalan, mata mula mencari..
Tapi dangai tetap dijinjing erat...sukanya hati, hajat mencari dangai dah tertunai..

Bahu terlanggar seseorang...
"Eh!!! Hang!! Apa khabar?? Ya Allah lama betul tak jumpa ye.."
"Buat apa kat kawasan ni??"
"Aderlah beli brg sikit-sikit, kebetulan nak jumpa mak ayah.."
"Singgah dulu sebelum kesana.."

Kisah bertukar kisah, senyum berbalas senyum dan salam bertaut salam..
Sambil bicara dia diperkenalkan...
"Ini Nen, isteri aku.."
"Tahniah."senyuman ikhlas dilemparkan..
Dia, senyum sama...
"Jalan dulu ye..."


Didlm hati berbunga riang, lalala....
Jalan lagi..berhenti
"Bang kasi udang 4 pinggan" ..."Tq"
"Bang sotong ni kira camana"...."10 ringgit sekilo dik..
Ok saya ambik..tima kasih..

Kuih-kuih lain pun beli jugak untuk dijamu pada mama dan ayah..

Dah nak balik dah!!! Dangai masih dijinjit erat...

Tick tick ..masuk kereta...kereta bergerak perlahan
Penuh hati-hati, takut sepah dlm kereta, penuh gembira..
bungkusan dangai dibuka...
Haaaa!!! Kenapa bukan dangai, Cik Apam pulak tersusun rapi...
SEDIH..HAMPA.. KECEWA....


Takpe Bee, Yel turun pergi beli ye...
Diam, Tunduk...tak menjawab...

10 minit terasa begitu lama, macam mana kalau dangai habis dibeli orang...
Tepat minit ke sebelas...

Untuk Bee, makan ye sayang...

Ermm nikmatnya rasa si Dangai...
Tersenyum lebar...
Dalam hati ikut bicara....Baiknya suamiku ini...
Terharu........